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banner_jboney_colorI often wonder why many people become so fascinated with what happens to other people, particularly celebrities.

There is a reason that reality TV shows, such as Real Housewives of Atlanta, are so popular.

Many people want to escape their ‘real world’ experiences and live vicariously through the lives of others.   I mean, it makes them feel as if they are normal, if they can witness the shortcomings and frailties of someone with star status.

Those of you that really know me know that I am a movie fanatic.

I happened to catch this movie recently called “Surrogates”, starring Bruce Willis.

The main plot of the film centers around the murder of a college student who is linked to the man who helped create a high-tech phenomenon that allows people to purchase remote controlled robots that look like humans. The thing is, the people are operating these robots while sitting in the comforts of their own home, giving them the opportunity to interact with others in society, while pretending to be someone else.

These attractive, remote-controlled robots ultimately assume their life roles, covering up any shortcomings or inhibitions they might have.

When I saw the movie, I immediately thought about the real world in which we live and how many people have nothing else better to do than live their lives through the life of another person. They spend their times analyzing and criticizing their every move, thought and action.

They talk about what that person should have done or how they should have done it. They feel as if they know what is best for them and their lives.

They are real-life surrogates, carrying the burdens of another person’s life, while completely ignoring their own. They fail to see the shortcomings within themselves or know those shortcomings and simply ignore them and pretend they don’t exist.

Sadly, when confronted about their issues and problematic actions, they lash out at others and feel as if they are justified in being the critic and not the recipient of rebuke and correction.

There is nothing that anyone else can do to change that person or make them see the light.   In order to see change, these surrogates will have to eventually see it with their own eyes and make a conscious effort to want to make adjustments.

Unfortunately, if they do not make adjustments, the same results that you see on reality TV with all the drama that is involved, will trickle down into their lives and the lives of those they are associated with.

We must live our lives for us and us alone.

Stop being a surrogate!

Jeffrey L. Boney is the lead staff writer for the Houston Forward Times newspaper, Next Generation Project Fellow and a dynamic, international speaker. Jeffrey is the Founder and CEO of the Texas Business Alliance and is an experienced entrepreneur and business development strategist. If you would like to request Jeffrey as a speaker, you can reach him at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .

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